| 00:00 - 00:03 | This is the route we should send to Guinness |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | As you can see it covers Berlin and NOT the UK |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | They won't know the difference |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | And the record is so old that no one will know |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | the real truth or the actual route |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | You think the ultra runners are that dumb? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Especially the Ultra Running Community ones |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mark |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Steve |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | They just talk about Hoka's and sticks and watches |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | You should hear all the crap about books too |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Right all the people who cannot lie properly, leave now, you are no longer part of this World Record |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How the fuck do you think we can do this |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I was supposed to be running |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Not sitting on my arse in the van |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | No wonder I looked so fucking fresh |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I hardly ran more than 2 miles in my puffa jacket |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And my winter hat that Helga knitted should look like shit |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I shouldn't be filming fucking videos |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I should be dying on my feet like a decent ultra runner |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But you needed to look fresh for the TV cameras |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Fuck the TV cameras, it's only the Express and Star and fucking Shropshite star websites that give a shit |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mark.....It's the charity that counts, please don't forget that |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Bollocks it's all about ME and becoming famous |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I am a running GOD! Don't you know that? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | That real Marathon Man bloke and the Greek one |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | they can all run and get loads of attention |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Why not me! I ran a marathon.....once or twice |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Fucking Ultra Marathon Runners, what do they know about becoming a celebrity |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | All they do is call me a liar and try to ruin my fun, I don't deserve THIS shit |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | No one like me or believes me anymore |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I did run 400 marathons and I am close to the 1000 no matter what those fuckers say |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And I'll keep upping the figure while I think up more bullshit to confuse them |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Fucking Guinness are stupid anyway, they give records to people running in Elvis costumes |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | And the media are dumb asses who can't write a decent story anyway |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Fucking records |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I OWN all the running records, I even did double Bob Graham in 28 hours this weekend |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I can't believe no one thinks I'm legit |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I'm a nice guy...... so my mum says |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | So what if I look so fresh don't they know i'm trying to be nice |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | That's the only way Salomon will come running to me |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | He did wear the hat Helga |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I'll have to do the Race Across America now |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Then Back to Back Spine |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Then The Chain with both legs tied together |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Shit! I'll even have to do the bloody Bingo race |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I'm still tired from winning Badwater AND UTMB in the same weekend |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and that was after double Barkley |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Do they have no mercy these ultra runners |
