| 00:01 - 00:07 | Hello and welcome to the brand new Benidorm Seriously News Room |
| 00:08 - 00:13 | We are broadcasting to you live from a Chinese Shop in Benidorm |
| 00:14 - 00:18 | Tracy will no longer be responsible for the weather reports. |
| 00:19 - 00:20 | You have to listen to me from now on. |
| 00:21 - 00:23 | I suggeest you learn Madarin as soon as possible |
| 00:24 - 00:30 | Lisa and Hazel will be starting classes from next week |
| 00:31 - 00:35 | However Steve Hall will provide you with one word per day. |
| 00:36 - 00:38 | Your word for today is ruman notitcal |
| 00:39 - 00:42 | This means one euro pint please. |
| 00:43 - 00:46 | Since there are now more Chinese in Spain than British. |
| 00:46 - 00:49 | You must accept the change or you will be forced to visit one of our woks |
| 00:49 - 00:52 | You may never be seen again..Have you ever seen a Chinese Funeral? |
