| 00:00 - 00:05 | So Tom walks into the CentreLink I work at |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | He says "I'm looking for a job and need money" |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | So i ask him "Can you give us your resume?" |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | He hands this scrawny piece of paper to me |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | It reads "I have ambition and am a hard worker" |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | It's true |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | It's true |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | I looked at him once and declined it |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | It's true |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | He says "wait i can prove to you that i am looking for a job" |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | He pulls out a flyer for a business called Tom's Sandwiches |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | And tells me he plans to travel Australia selling food |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | I swear to god, I swear |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | He looks like he can't properly wipe his ass, let alone make sandwiches |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | So he turns to me |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | And says "I'm a good chef" |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | It's true |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | At this point everyone in CenterLink is laughing at him |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | And he looks like he's about to pass out from alcohol poisoning |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | What a fucking mess he was, he was never going to get hired |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | It's true |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | McDonalds wouldn't hire him |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | So he say's "I'm trying, I really am" |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | I recently got my RSA |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | And all i can picture is him getting fired |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | For stealing loose bottles of Corona |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | No joke |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | I couldn't contain myself |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | There's no way he was getting a job |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | It's true |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | Would be... |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | Would be |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | Would be too retarded |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | To even apply for a cleaning job |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | He'd probably come in on the first day, would forget whether his cleaning liquid was water or dangerous liquid, and then drink the shit |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | You reckon he'd do that? |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | Oh for sure |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | He wouldn't know how to use a spray bottle |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | Probably couldn't use a broom either |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | It would probably end up in his ass |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | So what happened with the payment request |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | The manager came in, told him to get fucked |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | Sent him on his way |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | That was the end of that |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | And when he walked out... |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | He walked into a lightpole |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | What a fucking specimen he was |
