| 00:00 - 00:03 | We don't play any away games |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Except against cupcakes |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | And even then not in their home gym |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | So we can expect to win the pre-Christmas season again |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | I think we can keep it going this year, into the tournament |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Now that UNC won't be there |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Their post season ban gives us an opening |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | The NCAA released their report |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | and, um |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | There are no sanctions. UNC is free to play. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They will be in the tournament |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | OK. Anyone who has not been in my private elevator, leave. Leave now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Jay Smith. Mary Willingham. |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | You said they were smart people. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | You said they were smarter than they looked. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | ESPN even let Rashad McCants make stuff up. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | What about Sankey? Nothing? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | You promised me he would push that Wainstein story |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And don't even mention Dan Kane. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | An entire newspaper at our disposal and nothing at all? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | It turns out UNC had not violated any rules. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I know that you idiot. Every coach does. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | We thought the press would fool people. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | You thought. You thought. And the best you could come up with |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | was Sara Ganim? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I ask you to do one thing, bring Roy down |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | no more rings for him, no more sitting home |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | watching Roy coach on Monday night |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | watching confetti rain down on him |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | while I sit home staring at the wall |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I am a leader. Not him. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | He's just a basketball coach, I explained this in the commercial |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | There is so little I ask of you. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Get Roy in trouble. And now you tell me |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | this whole story wasn't real. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And that Roy is still in the game. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And with who? Joel Berry for god's sake. Again. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Have you seen Jalek Felton play basketball? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And what was the point of those fools from Raleigh |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | It's like counting on a chicken to pull a plow |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | a chicken can't pull a plow. It can't. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Chickens can pull plows. They can. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I did what I could. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Everyone believes I taught Lebron how to play. And Kobe. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | And Paulus. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I even paid for a branding company |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | to pretend dook is a 'brotherhood' - with a logo, too |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | a little patch the kids could wear. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | at least Roy won't get Nas Little |
