| 00:00 - 00:03 | I'm afraid we have run out of eggs |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | we have tried Sainsburys Tonbridge |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and Tunbridge Wells |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Waitrose don't have any Burford Browns |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and Morrisons and ASDA don't stock the brand |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | its fine, your mother will have to drive out futher |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I have eggs every morning |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Father - |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Mother... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Mum cannot drive without you in the car |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | she only has a provisional license |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | everyone out, Glyn, Mark, Gary - you stay |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I want my fucking eggs |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I have eggs every fucking morning |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | and now I hear there are none? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Who the hell ate MY last eggs? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | What am I meant to do now? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Do you expect me to starve... 2 eggs is all I want |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I have 2 eggs every morning, |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and now I have to sit in the car just to get them |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Pop, you will only be half an hour |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Half an hour? I haven't showered or shaved |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | just go with her, you'll be back before you know it |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I cannot leave the house dirty |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I have to be clean |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I am the cleanest fucking person around |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | It's how I maintain myself |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | even the doctor says how young I look |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | why do i tolerate this sheer insolence |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I want eggs and good tv |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | is that too much to ask |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | eggs and murder mystery |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | or costume drama |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | last night, I was forced to watch spring watch |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | a man of my intellect |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I hate Bill Oddie |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | or that tosser Chris Packham |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | and last night I didn't sleep a wink |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | my foot was pulsing |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and kept me awake |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | and now I don't have any eggs |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay Laura, he doesn't know you ate them |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | how much worse could my day get |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | reduced to Museli |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | or Bovril on toast |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | your mother won't even cook bacon |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I bet you all get bacon at home and as crispy as you like |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I am not so lucky |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I have no eggs... |
