| 00:00 - 00:04 | Commissioner Franz, reports that Justin was trapped in the Mexican earthquake are arriving |
| 00:05 - 00:09 | His lover Brian is in despair. He is assembling a search party from the gayest of his SoulCycle team |
| 00:10 - 00:16 | But our scouts report levels of AIDS in the area exceeding even that of yours |
| 00:17 - 00:22 | But what about the smegma Justin and Brian have been drinking secured from the gender fluid homeless bodybuilders? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sorry Commissioner... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | but um.. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The transsexual bodybuilders was a ruse. |
| 00:34 - 00:38 | Justin and Brian have only been licking each others smegma. |
| 00:53 - 01:00 | My gaping loose butthole weeps for you all. My poor brother... |
| 01:13 - 01:18 | MY FUCKING IDIOT BROTHER SMOKED K2 AND PASSED OUT ON THE FIRE ESCAPE AGAIN!!!! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | The members of this league are an embarrassment! We dumped the mentally unstable Perto Rican... |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Only to replace him with Danielle, |
| 01:30 - 01:35 | whose love for EDM music, ketamine, and ectasy have left her already feeble woman brain with more holes in it that Kurt Cobain's. |
| 01:35 - 01:37 | Fucking Broads! Laura... |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Who I think Mike had relations with only because she has a penis. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But she has large boobs... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | A chick with large boobs and a dick is still a man! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But Commissioner, surely they can not be as bad as Khari and Dana |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Oh the blacks who thought Cali was better because they would be above the Mexicans there? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | MEXICANS HAVE A WORK ETHIC |
| 01:56 - 02:00 | WHILE AFRICAN KANGS PENIS SIZE IS A DIRECT NEGATIVE CORRELATION TO THEIR ABILITY TO REMAIN QUIET AND NOT RIOT! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And the other Negro Kerel has no idea what's going on... |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And the three Chambers brothers have been reduced to two |
| 02:08 - 02:11 | due to extreme faggotry |
| 02:12 - 02:16 | Mike, who was the impetus of the Feds overturning "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And Brian, whose wife forced him to flee the City from the shame of his cuckholded mongloid baby |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Logan, nice strategery holding two kickers and defenses. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Moron, he must be banging Justin and Brian on the side. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | But they are my bottom bitches. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Sometimes they dont want to touch my extensive STDS |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I TOLD THEM I AM THE LEADER WAH WAH WAH WAH!!! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And who the fuck is Steve?!?!?!? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I thought he was that dude I met |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | at the Penn Station glory hole |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | But when we met in person his Grinder profile was wildly inaccurate! |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | Steve is that dude who couldnt get it up unless he fingered your dog |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | That leads me to Sam |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | King of the Jews. Jew amongst Jews |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Who hides his Jew gold |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | in a mountain of Jew Gold. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Who unrepentently fucks our mothers. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | And puts us goyim to shame every year. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | And is a God at Fantasy Football |
