| 00:01 - 00:07 | Greetings and salutations to you patrol bastards and records clerks |
| 00:08 - 00:13 | Today we announce we have made changes to our firearm quals |
| 00:14 - 00:18 | the FTU team is prepared to mind fuck you |
| 00:19 - 00:20 | Here it is |
| 00:21 - 00:23 | First, you apply the novacaine to your fingers |
| 00:24 - 00:30 | once numb, you will be OC'd in the face |
| 00:31 - 00:35 | You have ten seconds to shoot |
| 00:36 - 00:38 | Only one handed |
| 00:39 - 00:42 | And get all A zone hits |
| 00:43 - 00:46 | You get one attempt only |
| 00:46 - 00:49 | If you fail, you're off the gun |
| 00:49 - 00:52 | Good luck you patrol bastards |
