| 00:00 - 00:03 | In the East, Russia has been beaten back. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We've captured all of Belgium finally, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and we are sending air raids on Britain daily. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We have no opposition from either side of the Reich, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and the French are too busy surrendering to pay attention to our war crimes. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | The US won't declare war, |
| 00:19 - 00:22 | FDR can't even step out of a wheelchair. |
| 00:23 - 00:25 | Mein Führer, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Congress... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Congress are the ones who declare war. |
| 00:34 - 00:37 | You'd know that if you paid attention in Mr. Skillman's class. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who failed their US Constitution test, leave the room now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How could this have happened?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Congress can't even agree to replace Obamacare! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | They have a two house legislature, how could they possibly be so efficient?! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | It takes so long for a bill to become a law. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | It needs to be agreed upon by almost 500 men! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Why can't a dictatorship like mine work just as fast? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | It needs to be debated upon and reviewed by both |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | the House AND the Senate! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Führer, they've got "dat popular sovereignty". |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | They have to compromise in one house, and then it just gets sent to another!! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Führer, now is not the time for complaining. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | TWO HOUSES, HANS! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | With 50% of the vote! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You get your own committee in the House, |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | take your sweet time stuck in the Senate, |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and have to get the President's approval just to be passed! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Heaven forbid it gets vetoed, |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | then it needs a 2/3rds majority vote AGAIN! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I need to win World Wars, |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | how could FDR possibly have the time to persuade 500 senators to pass a budget?! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Germany was doing so well... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | The Fatherland has no time for democracy, |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | why couldn't Japan just ignore Pearl Harbor? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I might just shoot myself. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Japan didn't even really help me win the war! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | This is the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Maybe ever. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | My Wall of Fascism just got ten feet taller. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | We could've dominated all of Europe by ourselves! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, America's economy isn't that great. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I'm ruined. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I can already see Stalin's smug face. |
| 03:25 - 03:27 | We'll be sent to the Gulag for sure. |
| 03:31 - 03:34 | If national socialism didn't work, maybe communism will. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | My glorious Reich will be overrun by filthy Capitalists, |
| 03:46 - 03:50 | and Germany's youth will waste their time buying fidget spinners from Walmart. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | At least we didn't get nuked. |
