| 00:00 - 00:07 | Going in to this season the Pirate Nation was hopeful that Coach Mo would turn things around. |
| 00:07 - 00:16 | With his organization skills and the talent he brought in this offseason I had a gut feeling we would be great. |
| 00:17 - 00:23 | James Madison blew us out 34-14 in the opener. |
| 00:30 - 00:37 | We lost to an FCS team for the first time in 37 years and got embarrassed on our home field |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | Their running backs ran through our defense like shit through a tin horn. |
| 00:47 - 00:55 | Coach Mo organized one of the most futile game plans in our football history. He said some of our players had stage fright
|
| 00:58 - 01:03 | We didnt even look prepared to run out of the tunnel. |
| 01:04 - 01:10 | Our highly touted RB, Tyshon Dye didnt even get a single carry. |
| 01:14 - 01:19 | Next week West Virginia will ass rape us. |
| 01:22 - 01:30 | I hope we bring plenty of lube to the game |
| 01:33 - 01:38 | If were lucky we might win 1 or 2 games this year. How's that for progress? |
| 01:40 - 01:48 | But no seriously, the fans are really unhappy right now and want me fired, but I dont give a shit what they think, you know why? |
| 01:50 - 01:55 | I just got a 5 year extension! |
| 01:56 - 02:05 | I also duped them into giving me a 20% raise |
| 02:09 - 02:14 | I didnt
. I didnt... |
| 02:15 - 02:20 | I didnt even have to earn this extension or raise. I just asked for it and they gave it to me. |
| 02:21 - 02:27 | What a bunch of dumbasses, I have ol Cecil and the BOT wrapped around my finger |
| 02:28 - 02:29 | Seriously? |
| 02:30 - 02:33 | Most definitely! |
| 02:37 - 02:44 | I even convinced them to add Womens Lacrosse, even though our program is broke. |
| 02:51 - 02:55 | I'm adding Womens Lacrosse at $500k + per year while also calling for 10% budget cuts across the board |
| 02:56 - 02:57 | Are your proud of this? |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | Extremely proud, I have done all these things to boost my resume and they let me do it while rewarding me for it. Wouldnt you be proud? |
| 03:05 - 03:11 | I am truly a genius. I have full immunity over the next 5 years |
| 03:17 - 03:20 | Womens Lacrosse |
| 03:24 - 03:28 | I have a buyout of over $2MM so I have the University by the balls, so Im care free. |
| 03:31 - 03:37 | I actually hope I get fired so I can laugh all the way to the bank |
