| 00:00 - 00:03 | The United States struck first just before halftime. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Jozy Altidore scored it on a free kick, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and the USA went into the half ahead. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Jamaica started to play a more offensive game at the start of the half, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and they were able to nab an equalizer just minutes into the second half. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | And of course they went on to win. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | How many US fans were crying on Twitter after? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Jordan Morris... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Jordan Morris scored a winner in the 88th minute. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Jamaica lost 2-1. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | If you started following El Tri after the 2002 World Cup, please leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK DID THEY BLOW IT!? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | THEY HELD OUR BOYS TO A STANDSTILL TWICE! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | But then they go and blow it to those Yanks to the north. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I thought they deserved to win the Cup! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Their goalkeeper was having the tournament of his career. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And their defense only let in two goals all tournament! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | But then Trumpland goes and scores two goals in one game! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer, their keeper was injured shortly into the game. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | THAT'S WHAT SUBSTITUTES ARE FOR! FOR INJURIES, PUTO! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein fuhrer, we only played a B team, so we didn't care about the Gold Cup. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | We tell that lie all day and no one fucking believes us! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I HATE IT! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | It isn't even their main sport. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | They brought in some of their senior players. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Now suddenly they look like fucking geniuses! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | We can't even gloat about the Confederations Cup because we fucked it up too! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | WE MIGHT NOT EVEN BE IN IT IN FOUR YEARS! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And those northern bastards will rub it in our faces! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | We can't even pretend like we do great in bigger tournaments because of fucking Chile! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Do you get what I'm saying? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | We're supposed to own this confederation. We call ourselves Kings of CONCACAF! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | But now the USA get to gloat for two years. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And the World Cup is coming. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | We can't even use the "B Team" excuse when Germany tear us a new asshole! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And just our luck, those fucking Yanks will go and win the damn thing! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | If they win it before us, I'll go fucking insane! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | What is this Morris kid's problem, anyway!? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Why does he always seem to be the one who fucks us over!? |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, we don't have to play them anymore until after Russia. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I'm done pretending. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | We like to pretend we're a world power, but the truth is... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | We fucking suck. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | We play real teams and get trashed 7-0. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | And sometimes, the USA have to bail us out so we even make it to the World Cup. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | No matter what, though, I'll always love EL TRI. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Even if they make me EL TRIggered like this. |
