| 00:00 - 00:05 | So I said, Tugsy. What you up to? Come on, get online. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Lets play some PUBG it'll be fun. |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | We'll do squads, with the boys. |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | I've barely played the game, but like to pretend I know everything about it. |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | So we win the game, but I get... |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | Zero kills. |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | Zero kills. |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | They carry my dead weight from Zharki to Military base |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | Zero kills. |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | At one point, I even just get out the car mid drive and down myself. |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | So they all have to stop, turn around |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | and pick me up whilst in the gas taking damage. |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | And then when we get going again |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | I say stop at this single shack |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | There's nothing in it! |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | Nothing, but I pretend to get a 8X |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | Zero kills. |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | I did fuck all, all game. |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | Nothing at all, just died. |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | I'm fucking worthless, literally dead weight holding them back. |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | The worst thing is, they keep playing. |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | A four man squad, might as well be three. I offer nothing. |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | But when I get downed. Serious time. |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | Pick me up, pick me up now. I don't care how far you are. |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | I'm the most important player. |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | Drop everything, get me up. |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | Now, this second. |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | Even if they are in the middle of a fight. |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | And I will keep moaning, until they come get me. |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | Zero kills. |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | I even... |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | I even... |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | Run off on my own and die |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | then blame my team for my terrible play. |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | Doesn't matter the situation, I will rush off, not say a word and die alone. |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | "Every game?" |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | Every game. |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | It's not even funny anymore... |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | I just cant help myself. |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | How on earth do people still play with me? |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | "What's next for you?" |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | I think I'm going to move onto some new games to fail at, Overwatch probably. |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | They can carry me on that too. |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | I'll just play Widow. |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | 20 years I've been carried. |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | I'm easily the worst player in Europe. |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | I should have stayed on my fucking Xbox. |
