Hitler reacts to The Hat
385 views7/17/2017
The Hat and The Hair: Episode -1. As long as there have been hats and human ambition, The Hat has sought to exploit it...
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▸Show captions (49)
| 00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, we have traced the movements of the hat |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | to just outside Berlin. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | There have been four reports |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | from Günter, Glieben, Glaüten |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and a questionable sighting from Glöben. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | We must find the hat. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | The hat knows everything. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Führer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The hat |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | What does the hat know, |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | that we dont know? |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Clear the room of all personnel below Omega clearance. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | The hat knows everything! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | He knows about Karl's incontinence! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | He knows about Heinrich's boy touching! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | He knows that Otto likes to put dumplings in his ass! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And that Astrid likes to eat the dumplings afterwards! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | He knows every one of our perversions! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | He IS all of our perversions! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | He must be found and killed! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But we have looked everywhere... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Obviously not! Find that motherfucking hat! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Führer I'm sorry... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Fuck your sorry in the ass! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | The hat is all. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | When people find out about |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | my bifurcated penis or all our nipple chewing? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Germany will be a laughingstock! |
| 02:05 - 02:08 | All of us! Especially Astrid! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | What about all the times Eva dressed |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | me up for a tea party? All those frilly dresses! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Roosevelt cannot find out about all that Pony play! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | All I wanted was someone to confide in. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Someone who understood the pressures |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | or leadership... |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | of being me... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Instead, I get betrayal! Betrayed by my hat! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | A man's hat is a sacred trust. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | A bond of friendship eternal. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | And now I just have you fucks. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | You pasty, incontinent fucks. |
| 03:03 - 03:07 | And goddamn Astrid. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | The hat will be recovered |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | or I'll have the tender pink assholes |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | torn out of every one of you. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Even you, Heinrich. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | All I wanted was to have a little fun |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and kill millions of Jews. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | But without my hat... |