| 00:00 - 00:03 | My leader, The Morons are taking another road trip |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Jim and Stu, your "pals" |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | are planning a full weekend |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | this time it's three days, two concerts |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Charlotte for Iron Maiden and Greenville for Journey |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | clear my schedule immediately |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and tell them I will meet them in Florence |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | my leader |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The Morons |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The Morons did not invite you but... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | they do have other friends that are going |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | if you are not a metalhead, a moron wanna be, or a complete turd...leave now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | dammit all to hell |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | those two pieces of shits deny me again? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | who are they inviting this time? I bet its that dude that brings Jim beer |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | and lemme guess...the guy that shits his pants? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | dammit I wanna go so badly |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | they never invite me to any of the fun shit they do |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I hunted down Dracula for the Stu and found a married chick for Jim |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and now they are buddies with "turd in my pants"? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | sir...he tried to make it to the toilet |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | he took a dump in his britches, you dumbass...and he called Jim about it |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | sir, he did clean his underwear |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | did you know he drives a Kia Soul as well? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | his wife drives a Mustang |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | she has his balls in her hands |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and yet he gets invited on a roadtrip? how in the hell is he cooler than me? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I guess I need to take a shit in my damn pants to be worthy of consideration |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I have had to listen to Iron Maiden for a month to please the little shit |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I even posed on slots as a sexy German chick to get the big shit's attention |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | what the hell have I gotta do to be a friggin moron? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I bet they are inviting the lesbian too...and she is a damn indian |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I memorized the words to that song |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | the one called "Open Arms" by Journey |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I wanted to hold hands and sway with them |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | dammit |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I even sent Jim a case of beer last week, and bought Stu the new Star Wars DVD |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I never get to go with them anywhere, yet I love them so... |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | i would give my life |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | just to be a moron for a moment |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | its just not fair that others get to be morons and I cannot |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | it's alright, he won't shit his pants |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I think I'll go to the country fest |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | and I think country music sucks, but... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Maybe |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I can be close to them |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I may even find turdman's wife and drive the Mustang |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | If I drive it once it will be more than him |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | book my flight to the beach today |
