Startup Competition
510 views5/2/2017
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | The competition is fierce and growing. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | As the verticals become saturated |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | competitors are beating us on price, |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | AI startups are moving faster, and eating away at our incumbent advantage |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And VCs are beginning to buy into the hype as well. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | AI is just a buzzword |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Our customers don't want all that crap |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Startups... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | StartupYard has announced 2 rounds of acceleration |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | For "deep tech companies." |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Please Google: AI/ML, Bots, and Blockchain. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | You were supposed to innovate! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Our corporate guidelines stress Innovation! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Now I find out some assholes in a garage have handed you your own asses! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | How many memos have I circulated? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | How many goddamn workshops? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And we're having to compete with "startups" |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | That attack narrow verticals with new technologies |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | And there's no room to pad out our services with consultancy and IT support centers |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, AI cuts down costs and frees up companies to... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Consulting is our CORE BUSINESS you moron! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, customers prefer new tech! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Tell me that story when you're lining up for the dole |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's all over! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | It used to be that |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | We could sell software and then |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | have a customer's balls in a vice grip for years |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | We could charge for IT support, travel, and fat administration fees. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | We could make a project that should take 6 weeks take 6 months |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | It was so good while it lasted. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And these lean startups have come up from nowehere and made us IRRELEVANT! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | There used to be honor in this business |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | kickbacks and sweetheart deals. Money for the taking. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | We had the Europe by the balls. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Customers totally dependent |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | On our shitty, outdated, overpriced hardware, they couldn't stop using even if they tried! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And now some college kids can create a neural network overnight, and beat us at our own game |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And they don't even charge for support |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I made my career on overcharging for support |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I may never get a fat bonus again! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok Anna. The robots won't take your job! |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We stopped innovating |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | We became everything we used to hate |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | We're dinosaurs |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The war is lost |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But be warned: They'll drag me out of this corporation kicking and screaming. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I don't give a fuck about quarterly reports anymore. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Let's go cash in our stock options. |