| 00:00 - 00:03 | Nintendo has just finished showing its titles at E3, |
| 00:04 - 00:07 | One of the biggest announcements was the new Starfox game. |
| 00:08 - 00:15 | There was also some stuff about Amiibo and a 3DS port of Hyrule Warriors. |
| 00:17 - 00:22 | Who cares about all that nonsense, I want news about the new Metroid game. |
| 00:24 - 00:28 | Mein Fuhrer... Metroid... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Metroid's new game is a spin-off multiplayer game, |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Samus won't be playable and there will be space soccer. |
| 00:52 - 00:58 | All those who thinks that the Metroid franchise is as good as dead... Please leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | A Fucking Multiplayer Game!? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | We wait five years and all we get is a Multiplayer Game!? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Not only! We have to play as some Federation mooks rather than the goddamn Samus Fucking Aran! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And then there's Space Soccer... |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | This is a pile of Shit! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And here I was hoping that Metroid could recover from the shit that was Other M: |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | first Sakamoto turns Samus into an hysterical teenager, |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and then Nintendo tries to revive the franchise with a shitty version of Hunters! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer, it's unfair to bash the game so early, it has just been announc- |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | It's shitty Hunters without Samus! Why not Metroid: Pinball 2 at this point!? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, it's just a spin-off! Why the hate? |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Because we were expecting a REAL Metroid game! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Who asked for this!?!? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | The series has been on ice since 2010, |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | fans have been waiting and were expecting something huge, |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | something that would return the series to its former glory! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | After that embarrassing performance in Other M |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | all Metroid fans just wanted to see Samus kicking all kinds of asses in glorious HD, |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | and stop worshiping an abusive asshole. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Instead what we get is Chibi Federation soldiers playing Soccer! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Why the fuck doesn't Nintendo want my money? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | All I want is just another Metroid Prime, |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | or another 2D title, as long as is Metroid! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And that title... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | They call this a "Prime" game, as if it has anything to do with the first Prime, |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I don't remember Chibi soldiers and soccer being in the first Prime! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | This is what Metroid gets for its 30° Anniversary... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Link and Mario gets all kinds of cool shit, |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | while this thing is making me nostalgic of Other M! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry... We can always play Super Metroid. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I fear of what they'll come up with next time... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Maybe some random minigames like "Samus Fashionista" where you choose how to dress up Samus... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Or "Samus cookie cooking". |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The Franchise is doomed. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | And what is worse is that, out of desperation for anything Metroid, |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I'll end up pre-ordering this shit. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Adam Authorizes: Franchise Killer. |
