| 00:00 - 00:03 | Milner-Skudder won't be fit for another few weeks |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | And Shag's been on the phone |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | He said we can start the Saveas |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | But he's ordered us to rest Dane Coles for the Lions Tour |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | He said to make up something about him having a bruised knee |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | At least Quade's still banned |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | They'll really miss his X factor at flyhalf |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Stiles... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Stiles has found an even better flyhalf than Cooper |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | It's Jake McIntyre |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Co-interim head coaches remain here, the rest of you go and check the place for bugs |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This is bullshit! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | This is absolute bullshit! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Where do the Reds keep finding this endless stream of world class players? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | We finally get a stroke of good luck |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Cooper gets three weeks |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Even though that tackle was a soft yellow at worst |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | But their second-choice flyhalf is a guy who'd bloody start |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | in any other team in the competition |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Fuhrer, the Reds still have weaknesses! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | They're strong across the park! At lock they've got Rob fucking Simmons! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuhrer, Reds fans say Simmons is a powder puff |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | That's only because their other lock is Kane Douglas |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | That guy's an ogre! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | We Kiwis think we're doing OK |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | because Brodie Retallick was IRB Player of the Year |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | But if we'd had those Reds locks we wouldn't have lost to Ireland |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And don't even get me started on the rest of their pack |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | They're forwards but they throw the ball around like backs! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And I don't think I've ever seen them spill the ball! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And their scrum's so good if we don't concede a pushover try it'll be a bloody miracle |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And then coming off the bench |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | The Tongan Thor, God help us all |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | He actually looks like he could eat TJ Perenara |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And then look at us... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | They get Jake McIntyre, we're stuck with some random called Beauden |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Which isn't even a real name by the way |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And then we when we couldn't find a fullback |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | He says "I know this pretty good fullback" |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And it turns out it's just his bloody brother! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't cry, I heard Jordie made the 2nd XV at school! |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I put the last $20 in my Sportsbet account on the Canes |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | It was stupid, I know, but the odds were amazing |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | But we're screwed |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The Reds are going to kill us |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | You guys had better start a worldwide search |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | for a new head coach |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Better check the carpark |
