| 00:00 - 00:05 | So I'm at a board of trustees meeting and they're saying |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | "We need to figure something out!" |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | "We're running out of space and the STEM center fell through!!" |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | "And we need to house 100 more international students!" When Chris says... |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | "Why don't we just buy the Hyde School?" |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | The Hyde School! |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | The Hyde School! |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | And the Board absolutely loved the idea! |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | Hyde School! |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | And someone asked "How will that even work, having two campuses? How will the students get back and forth?" |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | And Chris said "We'll just have shuttle buses running all the time, |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | "like we're fucking Walt Disney World!" |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | "And we'll make the campus supervisors, |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | "get their Class A licenses so they can drive them!" |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | "They're going to have to install more traffic lights in the middle of town!" |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | "Suck on that Historical Society!" |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | Hyde School! |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | "And we'll announce the purchase on WINY, |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | "before we even tell the teachers!" |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | "Then we'll interrupt the whole school day to tell them while the kids watch some random comedian!" |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | "And we'll casually mention |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | "that we're taking a 100 year loan to pay for this thing!" |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | But then someone else said, what about the current Hyde employees? |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | They're not certified to teach. |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | So Chris says |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | "Well, they can apply to drive the shuttles too!" |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | I couldn't believe it |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | And the Board says, we'll have to change so many policies |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | And Chris says, "We'll let Bill and the interns figure it out, |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | "they've got six whole months!" |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | "We should call it, |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | "we should call it, |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | "We should call it South Campus!" |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | "That'll look so good on our next commercial!" |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | "Send your kids to WA, we have twice the land mass of NFA! The most square footage per student in CT!" |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | "Look to your future, |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | "look to South Campus!" |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | Chris is absolutely drunk with power! |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | He treats WA like he's building an empire! |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | They make all these huge changes and wonder why morale is so low! |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | So are the facilities nice at least? |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | Oh sure, the facility is great, but we can only afford 4 shuttles |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | So we can only transport enough students to fill half the classrooms. |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | It's an incredibly stupid purchase. |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | Do you want to drive a shuttle? |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | How about someone in the audience? |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | Woodstock Academy is now accepting applications! |
