Here is the itinerary of the trip
First we'll fly to Florida
and then we'll board the cruise ship
We'll sail to Mexico and around to Belize
and then we will hike up to ruins Chichen Itza and Palenque
This will be the best tour
I can't wait to see all the ruins of the Nephites
My Fuehrer ...
Joseph Smith told us where the Book of Mormon happened
The Nephites lived in North America
Everybody leave except Winchester, Nibley, Sorenson, and Peterson
The Book of Mormon happened in North America?
Why on earth would such notable scholars publish countless works on Mexico
if the Book of Mormon didn't even happen there?
I feel like such an idiot
Everyone has lied to me, even the Maxwell Institute
They constantly publish articles explaining
why there's no Jewish DNA in the Americas
My Fuehrer, they actually found it in North America ...
What's next, artifacts with Hebrew writing?
My Fuehrer, that's exactly what they found
Then why don't they ever use that for evidence?
Their own theories!
Do you have any idea
how much money I wasted on that cruise
just to find out that I could have seen them when I went to the US?
I spent years trying to explain to the Anti-Mormons
how a tapir could pull a chariot from one city to the next.
It was the most humiliating thing I've ever had to do
I almost gave up and just became an Atheist like Stalin!
No wonder it's so easy for them
to attack the Book of Mormon when we say it happened
where a Nephite had never actually set foot
This whole freaking time, they have been producing these bogus publications
It was as simple as reading what Joseph Smith said over and over again
What were these people thinking?
Did they really think their research was more valid
than the revelations of the prophet?
It's okay, we can go on Meldrum's tour
Imagine how these people will feel
when they learn that their life's work was for nothing
That must suck
The mystery is solved
But if you think I can't still have a good time in Mexico, you're sorely mistaken
This better be one heck of a cruise
Well, now we know