| 00:00 - 00:03 | As you can see from the map, |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | central Cologne is accessed |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | quite easily by train |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | directly from the airport on the S13 to the city centre. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Once there, it's a short walk to the hotel. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Nice. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Which pub have we booked to watch the Six Nations? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Diggs.... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | There was... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | None of the bars would reserve an area for us. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We have to just hit the ground running and get amongst it. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everybody out, except Rocky, G Force and Keanage. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I left you fuckers |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | in charge of organising this weekend. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | And you're telling me you haven't booked seats for the rugby? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | You have no fucking idea |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | how long I've been looking forward to this. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Slaving away with some bullshit insolvency nonsense, |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | dealing with the Revenue, lawyers, |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | accountants and all sorts of cunts. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Diggs, I thought G Force.. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | G Force couldn't organise Olympic Tickets if he was in a Rio hotel room! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Diggs, we thought we could... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Bullshit! This is basic and you still fucked it up. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I want some comfort for the rugby, |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | a few beers, a silly costume, |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and some strippers later on. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | In a city where all of that shit is perfectly accessible. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And now I'll have to stand arse to elbow with some |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | fucking bogger van drivers from Limerick, |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | listening to their shite about Munster players being the heart of the team. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Jesus Christ, we might as well have gone to the HH and Abrakebabra instead, and then fucked off home. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | If I wasn't looking forward to the stip club in fancy dress |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I'd cancel the whole lot right now. The one thing |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | keeping me excited is the thought of some fraulein in the nip. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Christ... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | ..and I swear to God, if they don't let me bring in a wingman for every one of the lapdances |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I will burn the place down like it was 1945 again. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | It's not like I'm looking for master race women here either, |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Asians, blacks, Latinas, |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | bring them all on, I couldn't care less. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok, I don't think he wants gingers. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | You fuckers are probably doing this on purpose, |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | because I'm having the stag after the wedding. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It just made more sense. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | You've seen plenty of German porn, G Force? |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Please tell me we're going to see some wonderful, bountiful bosoms beneath exotic costumes, |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and have them jiggled in our faces. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I pray touching is not verboten. |
