| 00:00 - 00:03 | The Street Knowledge test is administered by the City Cooncil |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | In Part 1 candidates have to show knowledge of street names |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | In Part 2 they have to give the locations of places of interest in the city |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | In Part 3 they have to describe the best routes between two points in the city |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And Part 4 is a Highway Code Test |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Good, stops the public being ripped of |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | To many cowboys do that in other towns |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | I have to report
|
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Its now possible to get a Private Hire Licence |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Without sitting a Street Knowledge Test |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | McKain, Gordon, Bolton, Crocket, you four stay here |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I fucking warned you this would happen |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | when that cunt Marshall took his case to court |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | For fucks sake, couldnt you see it coming? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Inverness fucking Taxis |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Fucking teuchters the lot of them |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Street knowledge test too hard for them, lets just take the Cooncil to court |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Fuck the Cooncil, we'll do it our way |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Why the fuck should we have to sit and study and learn like everyone else? |
| 01:40 - 01:43 | Mein Fuhrer, we now have s64 of Air Weapons (Scotland) Act in place |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Fuck s64 of the fucking Air fucking Weapons fucking Scotland Act |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, it's now the law |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Too late. Do you know how many of those tossers have got their PH licences for three years? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Too fucking many |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Everyone told you |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Everyone in the trade warned you this would happen |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | But you rolled over and and let them shaft you with a fucking great strap-on |
| 02:04 - 02:06 | Theyve even set up an office on Crown Street. |
| 02:08 - 02:09 | They park outside |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | on double yellow lines day and night |
| 02:12 - 02:14 | whenever they want |
| 02:13 - 02:15 | and the cops do fuck all about it |
| 02:16 - 02:18 | Why didn't you see this coming? Everyone else did. |
| 02:19 - 02:20 | Everyone but you bunch of fucking numpties |
| 02:26 - 02:27 | So thats it for the trade now |
| 02:30 - 02:31 | Shire taxis pluffing all over town |
| 02:32 - 02:33 | Yellow plates pluffing at heliports, |
| 02:34 - 02:35 | red plates pluffing wherever the fucking they like |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | How the hell did this happen? |
| 02:42 - 02:47 | It used to be so simple. You were an office car or you worked the ranks |
| 02:47 - 02:52 | You were yellow, green or red, but everyone had to pass the same test |
| 02:53 - 02:54 | You never even saw a blue plate in town |
| 02:56 - 02:57 | They wouldnt have fucking dared to be a blue plate in town |
| 02:59 - 03:01 | Hackney Sergeant would have been on them like a ton of bricks |
| 03:04 - 03:08 | Its okay Aileen, you probably wont even be re-elected in May |
| 03:14 - 03:15 | Maybe I worry about it too much |
| 03:17 - 03:21 | And weve still got the WAV policy to implement from next year |
| 03:24 - 03:26 | Its all fucked |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I hear, Uber will soon be here |
| 03:39 - 03:45 | At least thats a good German word, even though theyre from America |
| 03:45 - 03:47 | and just a poxy booking App |
| 03:52 - 03:54 | Can someone call me a taxi |
