| 00:00 - 00:03 | He's just finished his press conference, Mein Furher |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | His new ambassador is expected... |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | ...to arrive in Berlin shortly |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Until we can figure out what the fuck just happened... |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | ...we should keep the ambassador waiting at his hotel |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | He was announcing a new labor secretary... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | ...even he couldn't screw that up |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The idiot... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | He gave batshit crazy answers to every single question |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | ...ranting that everyone is mean to him |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who wasn't involved in coordinating with his campaign, get out |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I told you this shit would happen! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | After everything we've invested in this manchild |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | The loans for his shitty hotels...money for Assange...the hookers |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | We even made the female staff wear Ivanka's ugly crap |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Her garbage jewelry turned their skin green! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | He promised to get rid of the fucking sanctions... |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | ...and after I explained to him what NATO was |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | He offered to trade it for a golf course in Crimea |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | He's denied any contact with us during the campaign |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | He's a toddler with a compulsive lying complex |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Furher, he said Flynn did nothing wrong |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I'm German and even I know Flynn violated the fucking Logan Act |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's over. We're done. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I'm calling in all of his loans |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | And publish his tax returns on wikileaks |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Let's see the fucker lie his way out of that! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | We're going to release the peeing videos to Fox & Friends |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Have the SS order Anne Coulter to go after him |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | She's been begging for a kill assignment for years! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And have fucking Hannity and O'Reilly turn on him |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | This was supposed to be so easy |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | He came to me, pleading for help against Hillary |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | "I'll be huge for you," he said |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I should have known |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | As if my experience with Trump University wasn't enough! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | All of his real estate tricks were a bullshit pyramid scheme |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | "One semester and you can learn the art of the deal"... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | If I wanted to learn to be a scam artist, I'd talk to Goebbels |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Now I own a dozen asbestos-infected apartments |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, I'm sure yours isn't one of those |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We'll need to start talking to Pence |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I'll have to pretend to go to church again |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Shit. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | But it's necessary |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | The idiot will get impeached within three months |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | And he's still going to want to build a fucking hotel in Berlin |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Get Spicey on the phone. |
