| 00:00 - 00:03 | We start the second loop immediately and join the herd |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | There's a shortcut option here |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Where we merge with the cow herd |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We push the ice cream bikes dressed like legends |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | No ice cream bike, cow or calf is left behind. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | So, loop one.... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | ....we'll take it easy. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My captain..... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ....loop 1... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Loop 1 is completed in sub 3. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | If not, you are not an Apocalypse Cow. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Out the room unless you've done Cape Epic, Ironman, Comrades, or are on Strava |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That's way too fast!! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Sub 3 hours is going too fast! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Only psychopaths go that fast and then do a second loop! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I don't even own a Garmin |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | What about the female riders? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | To hold speed they'll push the women's asses |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | The stronger riders - the brave, selfless ones ... |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | ...will dig so deep they'll burn up the tar like vikings! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My captain, stick to the training and believe. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | My quads are cramping just thinking! I believe in limitations! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My captain! Failure is not an option. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | You can shove that failure up your chocolate starfish! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | There's 40 of us! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | They're iron comrades... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | ...with years of military precision in their blood... |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | ...able to endure things you can only dream of... |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Going above and beyond the call of duty |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | They do two loops in the time it takes novices to do one |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Hearts and minds of cow warriors |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And then they go and push the ice cream bikes. Pure styling! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | How can one man go so fast... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | ...I only do light ..light spinning classes at the gym |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | ..sometimes the Watt bike |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | They do the Cradle.. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | and ride around it in their big gears and can still speak. No problem. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | it's a pure blooded team of unbridled bovine power |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | They don't even eat anything on the bike |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | And I'd kill for a sip of juice and a gel.. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | ...something sweet to spike the sugar in my blood |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | A bit of sugar is ok if you are banting. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I need some deep section wheels.. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | ..make buddies with the faster riders to push me on .... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | ..on my ass. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | East Rand rides are required. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We'll wake up at 4.30am, up our coffee intake |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | skip the cookies and pies... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | or end up dressed as Borat. |
