| 00:01 - 00:07 | Today's news in the agriculturalist federation of beyond the pale |
| 00:08 - 00:13 | The glorious leader Zhivets has just launched another devastating blow upon the jackeen imperialists |
| 00:14 - 00:18 | reports indicate that today's conflict was initiated by jackeen aggression |
| 00:19 - 00:20 | when dublin fuckhead kazuhira autist miller |
| 00:21 - 00:23 | made a video accusing zhivets of sister fuckery and sheep shagging |
| 00:24 - 00:30 | the glorious leader quickly retaliated by telling jordan the autist that he would never have a gf |
| 00:31 - 00:35 | "hes a right fucking cunt" said the glorious leader in an interview around the pale frontline today |
| 00:36 - 00:38 | Glorious leader Zhivets continued |
| 00:39 - 00:42 | "Jordan you rat bastard if you're listening i'll fuck you with big money" |
| 00:43 - 00:46 | The Agriculturalist Committee of beyond the pale also issued a statement today |
| 00:46 - 00:49 | Stating that no resource would be spared in the destruction of Dublin |
| 00:49 - 00:52 | This has been the news for today |
