| 00:00 - 00:03 | Somebody broke into your house. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They took everything |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Your TV and Xbox were pawned here |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Your VR and your Playstation |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Were pawned near downtown |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | At least they did not take |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | my prized beer collection |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Dustin |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | They broke into |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | They broke into your beer closet |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They took eveything |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone that drinks Miller, Bud, and Coors, leave now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How did they get into my closet? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I put a deadbolt on the damn thing! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | They do not even know what they took |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | That collection took me years to get |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I traveled all over the US for those beers |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I traded my home brew to strangers |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I joined beer clubs and stood in lines for hours |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I rode to breweries in Florida on a bicycle |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Dustin, you still enjoyed the breweries |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I said a BICYCLE! The seat hurt my taint! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Dustin, you just need padded underwear |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Enough about my taint! You stupid jackass |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | They took all my beer! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | There was a stout that I have aged |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | four years. I was going to drink it this year. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | But no, some punk took it all |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And they are probably drinking it in the wrong glasses |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | You don't drink a Russian River Pliny the Younger |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | in a Pilsner Glass |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Those punks have probably never heard of Atomic Penguin! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | What am I going to live for |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I have nothing left now |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Put a rope around my neck |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Throw me off a cliff |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Shoot me in the head, because I am nothing, absolutly nothing |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Why did they take my beers? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | They could have taken everything else |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Even Sammy and Oscar |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | They are just cats! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Pull it together, he loves his cats |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I guess I have to start over again |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I will build my collection from scratch |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Ryan, can I have your beers |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Please, you are my brother |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Nobody is getting Christmas presents this year |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Or the next year |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I could really use a cheese omelet. |
