| 00:00 - 00:05 | I get drunk with some buddies at Grand Valley |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | I bet them I can get the Notre Dame job someday |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | they're like no freaking way...I tell them it can be done |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | I'll just take a new job after a real coach establishes |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | the program and I can coach his players |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | I'll only stay at a program for 2-3 years and nobody will figure it out |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | I've never worked for a competent AD |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | My agent would tell people that the NFL wanted me for my Offense |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | All these AD's were so desperate |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | they never once asked if I could coach my own recruits |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | The Notre Dame AD was the best...he said he liked my last name |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | The fun part at ND is that the previous guy left awesome players |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | but when my coaching blew a game |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | I would blame the players and nobody knew better |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | I interviewed with the Eagles for their job |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | the morning after our game versus Alabama |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | I told people I was on vacation |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | and my AD tried to call and ask where I was |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | I just turned off my blackberry...who cares what he wants to know |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | who works for who? Give me a break |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | It's only Notre Dame...not like anybody cares |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | I lose 7 4* commits per year |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | but pick up 7 3* commits to make up for it |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | Urban Meyer and Jim Harbaugh own me |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | in recruiting...what do I care |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | I go 4-8 and my AD says I'm on the coldest seat in America |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | I'm more bulletproof than Bill Clinton |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | I had my QB chuck it 40 times in a hurricanne |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | and blamed my Center for the loss |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | the media still thinks I'm a great coach |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | Can you believe I'm pulling $5mm per year |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | and my agent can't get another team to return his call |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | Only at Notre Dame...thank goodness the priests |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | don't care about athletics there. |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | Whenever I have a good assistant coach |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | they leave for Ohio State |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | But I'm leading the team out the tunnel |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | No, really I'm not |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | I'm pretty convinced my agent |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | is talking to the Bears, Browns, Rams, Jaguars |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | Purdue, Houston, UCLA, Western Michigan |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | any sucker who doesn't watch film |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | those are the AD's that my agent has targeted |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | After I leave ND, I won't have to worry |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | about academics or player conduct |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | Okay, I don't really worry about them at all now |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | What I worry about everyday is getting our schedule weaker and weaker and weaker |
