| 00:00 - 00:03 | This is a progress report of our Spireite Master Plan |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Lets begin |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We're near Sheffield |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We can play in the same league as United & Wednesday |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We can get fans from the big city to come to The Prozac. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | And from Rotherham, Barnsley, and Doncaster |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | They'll all want to be part of our success |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Dear Leader |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Spireites |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Spireites are in administration |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We're totally skint and are getting relegated. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | If your name isn't Carson, Warner, or Croot, get out. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | WHAT ABOUT MY INVESTMENT? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | YOU TOTAL BUNCH OF VAGINAS. YOU'VE ABOUT AS MUCH BRAINS AS MY PIGEONS |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | We'll be playing Wednesday & The Blunts you said |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | AND NOW WE'LL BE PLAYING ALFRETON & FUCKING WORKSOP |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | AND YOU WONT CANCEL YOUR INTEREST PAYMENTS? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | TIGHTER THAN A DUCKS ARSE |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | ID UNPLUG YOUR LIFE SUPPORT MACHINE TO CHARGE MY PHONE |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | We can always get Elton John back at The Proact or Tom Jones |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | It'll take more than that stump fingered gay lord or the sheep shagger |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Well we could always ask Westlife too? |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | The fans will be putting pants on their head by this time next week |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Where has all the fucking money gone? From Doyle? from Clucas? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | We should be pissing all over this league by now |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | but no were rooted to the fucking bottom |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Absolute garbage, dog shit team. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I've never seen such shite in all my life. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | This lot make Sheridans team look like Barcelona |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | A pound coin was thrown onto the pitch last week. Was it a missile or a takeover bid? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I might check ebay and see if they have a life for sale |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | You lot are proof that God has a sense of humour |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | May as well have kept Dean Saunders |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | We may as well have stayed at Saltergate |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | £500k needed before Christmas? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | 1 league goal since September? |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | At least Ched is innocent. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | All the Mansfield fans are laughing their bollocks off on Stagsnet |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | and Bobs Board now has a direct link to The Samaritans |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | That's when it hasn't crashed. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Resource Limit reached |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | My fucking resource limit was reached a long time ago |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | If we avoid relegation I will take a giant dildo and shove it right up Chris Turner's arse |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Rant over. |
